3 trimester woes

Why is it so hard for me to ‘enjoy’ pregnancy?   I should just embrace the aches and pains that accompany this journey?  I wish I felt as great as I did during my second trimester.  New to the aches and pains department is constant leg numbness.  After googling this and asking others I’ve noticed this ‘happens’ but is not very common.  Let numbness is probably one of the most annoying feelings I’ve ever felt. 

I hate writing a “poor me” post, but I just had to vent. 

8 more weeks seems like an eternity, I tell ya.  Those that have 5+ children, how in the heck?  God bless you.  I am even wondering if we will ever try for #2 at some point down the line.  Do we really forget like people say? 
I am so excited that we are going to have 1 biological kiddo.  I never thought we would ever get to this point.  On a positive note, I cannot get enough of feeling this baby move.  It makes me so happy whenever he nudges, roles or kicks.  I pray so much he is a healthy little guy.  I cannot wait to meet him! 

28 Week Ultra Sound Picture

Baby H is sucking his thumb - Awe!!!

Week 29 and counting....

It has been about 10 weeks since my last post!  A lot has happened in those past 10 weeks.  Some good, some bad.  I will do my best to summarize everything into one short post.

Week 20: Baby started to move! Or at least move enough so that I could feel it. It was definitely the coolest and most precious thing I have ever felt.  I never get tired of feeling him move.  On December 9^th, 2012 My DH was also able to feel him move.  I was lying in bed noticed baby moving around quite a bit and realized I could feel him from the outside.  So I called DH over to put his hard on my tummy and the baby kicked for him a few times.   Really exciting!

Visitors: We had another long string of visitors.  A couple from Madison came to town, my cousin and his wife came another weekend , our best friends from Louisville came to visit .  My brother, sister in law and their kids came to visit for a few days.  I should also note my dear friend Nico came with 2 of her boys to the city for the day to visit.  Had a blast with all the visitors and miss having so much company in town! 

Travel: Arizona: In January I went to Arizona on a girls trip with my mom, sister and sister in law.  We spent a few days at a spa.  It was AMAZING! 

Barrington, IL: 2 weeks later I traveled to Chicago (Barrington, IL) where I grew up for my first baby shower.  It was the most wonderful shower I could ever imagine.  My mom and sisters completely outdid themselves.  About 40 people came to the shower, which was fantastic.  A few of my friends drove down from Madison, my good friend Allie who I met through Fertile Thoughts came down with her adorable twins and husband from Milwaukee.  Childhood and college friends were also in attendance in addition to my mom’s friends that I have known forever.  The generosity was out of this world.  Baby H is one lucky boy.  I can’t wait for him come so we can try out all the baby stuff!

Louisville, KY: Next weekend I am off to Louisville, KY for another baby shower.  DH’s mom Is having a shower with some family and friends.   

Placenta Previa: At about 28 weeks I went in for another Ultra Sound and my placenta had moved a whopping 1.5 CM away from my cervix in about 8 weeks’ time. It is now considered Marginal Placental previa.   It only has .1/2CM  to go.  The doctor is 99% sure it will move the rest of the way.  No restrictions at this point.  However, I have been to scared to BD because of my back pain – ugh!  I go back to have this checked again at 33 weeks to make sure it has cleared.

SI Joint Dysfunction: 1 week before my trip to Arizona I started having this terrible back pain.  I thought it was Sciatica; however, I was sorely mistaken.  I have SI joint dysfunction. It is the most excruciatingly uncomfortable pain I have ever experienced in my life.  It does not go away.  It has completely taken over my life.  I started going to Physical Therapy 3 days a week, which may have helped a little, however, I just realized I have to pay $40 a visit in co-pays which we absolutely cannot afford.  I am devastated.  I cannot walk my dog without wanting to cry.  It just sucks.  I wish I didn’t have 3 months to go because I feel like every second is just torture!  I have never felt more helpless in all my life.  In a way I wish my placenta previa were still complete because that would mean c-section.  In all honesty, I am scared to death of a vaginal birth because I have read that it can worsen SI joint dysfunction and cause more severe issues, especially to those who have it severe during pregnancy.  Vaginal birth with SI dysfunction can lead to chronic paiin and arthritis because the joint can become “sprained” which becomes extremely difficult to heal.  What would you do if you were in my case?  Risk being injured for the rest of your life?   

That's about all for now.  I will update you more frequently as I have a lot more time on my hands this trimester.  

Hugs and love to all xoxo 

Becky

Baby pic

Here is a pic from my 17 week u/s.  I meant to post this 3 weeks ago!  He looks a little creapy as it was still really early for 3D u/s's

Update time! 20 weeks

It has been about 5 weeks since my last post!  I left you all with us preparing for Hurricane Sandy.  We survived the stormJ  But I tell ya, we are lucky.  People had it so much worse.  We were out of power, heat and water for over a week.  We live on 14^th Street, right next to where the con Ed power explosion was, pretty scary.  When the plant exploded there was a huge blue flash o light and a large boom that filed our apartment.

 We have a dog and taking her up and down 10 flights of stairs in a pitch-black stairwell 3-4 times a day was really tough on her.  It was really tough to carry her too.  We luckily found a hotel that takes dogs up on 49^th and 1^st Ave so we stayed there for bout 4 nights.  My husband works at NYU, Bellevue and the VA hospitals which were out of commission because of the storm. In fact, for the most part, they are still out of commission.  It was nice having DH around for about 2 weeks

What else have I done over the past month or so.. Oh yea, went to San Diego, CA to visit my family.  My brother and sister live out here with their families.  It was great to see their kids.  My sister and sister in law took me to get registered at Babies R Us.  So fun!  I got most of the essentials picked out.  I decided to also register at Amazon.com.  The one thing that I have not at all decided on and have plenty of time for is deciding on a crib.  I really want a white crib but I know that for a boy it is not a common to have white.  Anyhow, I am torn about that. 

On the pregnancy front I found out at my anatomy scan that I have Placenta Previa.  My placenta is completely covering my cervix.   The only thin I was told to refrain from is sex.  My next scan is actually tomorrow.  I’m pretty nervous.  I really do not want o be put on bed rest.  Say a little prayer Mr Placenta has started migrating north this winterJ

Hurriane Sandy Heading Our Way!

Now we are getting ready for Hurricane Sandy.  We live right in the evacuation zone. But not going to evacuate.  Our building is pretty safe and high up.  This morning we went to Trader Joes’ to stock up.  Thank goodness we went when we did because by the time we left there was a line down 14^th Street of people waiting to just get into the store.  At the time we bought only gallons of H2O thinking that would be enough in case we lose water during the store.  second guessed only  gallons and went out to buy more, well, the stores are all out!  We went to like 15 different stores  and nada!  Flashlights were sold out too!  I did get the last one at a little bodega down the street.  The guy behind the counter was a little hesitant to give me the last one.  Honestly, we have nothing in terms of flashlights and candles.  They are all in storage back in Chicago!  We were not anticipating a huge scary storm during our year in NYC. Wish us luck! 

Guest Guests and more Guests.. Job stuff too

 

We had a slew of visitors in town over the past few weeks.  I loved it because it kept me super busy and entertained.  First one of Wes’s college buddies came in town for an interview.  Then we had one of our best couple friends come in from Madison for a few days then followed one of my best girl friends from Louisville.  The I had about 2 days to clean up the apartment and rest before my parents came to visit for a week.  My parents left of Monday. 

 

Right after my parents left the following day I became super anxious.  I really don’t like being by myself.  I have been working from home for this company that is based out of Chicago.  I had built up my Wisconsin over the last 5 years but when we moved to NYC I was no longer allowed to work my built up territory.  Another girl came in and took my position.  My boss gave me the opportunity to build up the Philadelphia territory while I live in NYC but honestly I have not had the energy at all to do this.  We

 

I have been looking for part time jobs in the city, something to get me out of the house and to be with people. You guys know of anyone hiring? ;-) I have gone around to boutiques in the area and really no bites so far.  I really hope something comes through.

 

On the baby side of things I went in again last week.  I had my 13 week appointment and my doctor only looked for the heartbeat with a Doppler. Of course, he was able to find it right away with his fancy-smancy devise.  Pretty uneventful appointment.  It just makes no sense why my at home Doppler picks up everything but the babies heartbeat.  If anyone is seriously considering getting a Doppler for home use, take my advise and don’t get one.  Way too much unnecessary anxiety.  If you don’t listen to me, that’s’ fine, b/c I don’t listen to my own advise either, think twice about the Sonoline-B.  There has be to a better at home Doppler out there.

 

Long entry but I want to put down one last thing.  DH and I had a fantastic day today.  Took the dog for a nice walk along the East River.  Then went up to 30 Rockefellar Plaza and went on the NBC Experience tour.  Pretty cool!  The cast was actually practicing for the SNL show tonight!  We saw a bunch of the actors including Keenan Thompson.  So fun! 

12 weeks!

I NEVER thought I would get this far. The Nuchal scan was AMAZING!  Baby was moving his arms all around and at one point did a bouncing maneuver - so cool!  Right when they found the baby with the ultra sound I yelled out, "oh my god, it's moving in there!"  I did not expect to see that.  His(I'm convinced it's a boy) legs were crossed - kinda cute if you ask me:) Now we have to wait and hear back about the chromosome testing.  A wee bit nervous about that.  Won't hear anything until the end of the week.

One thing I'm surprised about is the fact that I did not cry.  It was so beautiful seeing the baby swimming around.  Why did I not cry?  DH cried at one point, but not me.  Dry as a whistle.  I know I will cry tears of relief and joy at some point.. I know I will, right?  

"I'll have what she's having" and 11 weeks 2 days

Everyone who has seen the movie When Harry Met Sally has remember that famous diner scene when Meg Rayan in demonstrating a fake orgasam.  We've had friends in town the past few days so we did touristy things.  We went to the Katz Deli, whih is atually really lose to where I live - who knew?!  Anyhow, the place was super crowded and we weere able to get the famous table where Meg Ryan  & Billy Crystal sat!  Below is a picture of me sitting at the table. That's me, in the grey t-shirt.  I have no idea who the girl in the purple t-shirt is but I'm 

 11 weeks down.  Yee haw!  My friend from the fertile thoughts board shared an article about IF and there was a quote that hits home for me and my anxiety.  I’m sure many of you can relate to this quote as well.

“Women who become pregnant after infertility treatments face more complex challenges than those with a natural pregnancy” “They can’t relax; there’s incredible fear and anxiety over miscarriage or birth defects. They’ve usually spent years in infertility treatment, and are used to things not working out.”

Things not working out… That’s exactly it.  It just doesn’t feel real that this could finally, actually be “working out”. 

 

xoxo

10 weeks 2 days

10 weeks 2 days

 

I went in again yesterday, 10 weeks 1 day and was measuring 10 weeks 2 days.  So nice to see that heart beating…  Still scared as ever but the more reassurance I have the more relaxed I feel.  Unfortunately, I will not get reassurance with my Doppler in my first trimester.  The little bugger is hiding pretty well!  The doctor still can’t find the baby with the external ultra sound so he has to go vaginally.  Would be nice to graduate to external, just like it would be nice to be holding my baby in my arms alreadyJ  my dotor totally thinks I’m a bit loony as I have come in almost every week to be checked, but really, I do not care if I am “that” patient.  After he scanned me he told me that I don’t have to come back for  weeks, but come back whenever you want.  lol 

 

Last weekend we went to Louisville, KY.  DH’s Grandpa passed away.  It was a very sad weekend.  We ended up telling his parents because I have been so nauseaus and tired and we didn’t want them to think I was being rude because I was so lethargic the whole time. They were, of course, thrilled. 

 

Sorry for such a blah update.  I will hopefully have more energy once these next few weeks pass and I am apparently in the ‘safe zone”. 

Still beating:)

I met my new OB.  He was really nice, seemed smartJ so,  I think I’ll be in good hands.  He is nice enough to let me come back in 2 weeks for another scan instead of the routine 4 weeks.  I told him how scared I was and e said it was not a problem for me to come back more frequently until I felt more “settled” – yey! 

I can’t believe the baby doubled since last week.  He is now 1.91 cm, which measures 4 days ahead of schedule.  I measured 8weeks days and I was only 7weeks6days. The u/s machine at the OB’s office is so old that it doesn’t even read BPM, but it did look as though it was pumping pretty well to the doc.  I am shocked at how old everything is in NYC a supposedly “progressive” city.  I bet the u/s machine that they wheeled in was one of the first u/s machines ever!    I thought NYU's machines were old, but OMG - this was a dinosaur.  I was spoiled with all the fancy new equitment in Wisconsin.

I did buy a Doppler and I tried It out a few days ago.  I knew it was too early to find a heart beat but I wanted to try.  Even though I am 8 weeks I’m too scared to try again.  I know the baby is doing great as of yesterday so I will stay content with that

We have had a few more celebrity sightings.  I will share those pics with you at my next post. 

As for now, I’m pretty nauseous 24/7. However, eating makes me feel better.  So, I eat a lot.  Try to eat healthy but it's hard to do all the time.  I take a nap just about everyday.   I have been exercising every other day for about 30 minutes on the elliptical too, hoping that will help with the munchies. 

It’s a Spanish Peanut with a Heartbeat!

Today I am 6 weeks 5 days.  And I measured 6 weeks 5 days.  CRL .81cm.  The doctor referred to the size of the baby as a “Spanish Peanut”.  So, my husband continues to refer to “it” as a Spanish Peanut.  The heartbeat was 128.  So now it is off to the OB.  I will be 8 weeks 1 day at my first OB appointment.  11 days to go!  That seems like a long time to wait before seeing my Spanish Peanut. 

I also caved and bought a fetal Doppler today.  I am not sure when it will arrive, but I kind of hope it doesn’t arrive until after my next ultra sound b/c I know it is too early to find a hb with one of those things so early.  I may need my husband to hide it from me =0

Really cute DH move today: During my last pregnancy my sister gave me her prenatal yoga DVD, which I obviously never ended up using.  I figured they were packed away some where in our zillions of storage boxes, just because we didn’t bring much to NYC.  Especially things we would not use.  I was wrong, DH packed them and brought them out to me this afternoon and said, “I though you might need these.”  Lo and behold he wsa holding prenatal yoga DVD’s!   It made me so happy:)  1. It was really sweet of him.  2. I don’t have to go out an buy a pre-natal yoga DVDJ

 

Happy Labor Day! 

 

xoxo

So far so good

I've received a few emails, apparently I've left a few of you hanging.  Anyhow, I had a scan on Sunday 5weeks 4days because of a little scare I had with our oven releasing chemical fumes.  I was measuring 1 day ahead, which was very nice to hear and the doctor could see the start of cardiac activity.  It was not measurable yet, but he was happy to see it so soon.  I go back next Monday and will hopefully be released. At this point I am hopeful and yet still super nervous. 

Due Date

Today, Aug 22^nd is the due date of the baby I miscarried back in January. I’m crying as I am writing this.   I really did not think it would affect me this much. I knew this day would come, and I had no idea how I would feel, but it really sucks. I think that since I am in limbo waiting for heartbeat for this current pregnancy it’s making today hard.  To hear a normal heartbeat!  That is all I ask for. 

The scariest of TWW's

This is just about the worst of all the waits for me. I am so scared to go into that ultra-sound room and see no h/b or a slow heartbeat.  The last time I was pregnant I went into my u/s at 5w6days and I was measuring only 5w3days.  So of course there was no h/b.  Went back 1 week later and that is when we saw the slow h/b.  My RE was optimistic but after everything we read online we knew there was only a 15% chance of this working out in our favor.  After that I was able to go to my OB and get checked almost daily to see if the h/b had stopped.  I could not get a D&C until it was completely stopped, which was around 8 weeks.  Those weeks were just about the most depressing weeks of my life and I can’t imagine going through that ever again. 

2nd Beta

276!

It more than doubled.  Shew!  The first hurdle has been cleared.  
I go in for a mandatory 21dpo repeat beta next Wednesday. 

HPT Picture and Beta!

I have received a few picture requests.  Here it is.  This one is from today 7dp5dt.  It is only slightly darker than the one from yesterday.   Of course that makes me worry b/c I wanted it to be like 10x darker than the one yesterday:)

I also got up bright and early to get my beta drawn.  I wasnt' sure if they were going to let me b/c it was 2 days before my required date.  Carol, the main nurse, whom I love comes to get me from the waiting room, puts her arm around me and says to me, "looks like you are doing well".  Then she tells me to sit in the blood room as one of the other nurses will come in to draw your blood.  My designated blood drawer this morning comes and sits in front of me and says, you know it's early and it could be the HCG from your trigger... I was like... ummm I don't think so that was quite a while ago.  Another nurse behind her buts in and says, I could get get my blood drawn... yey!  Well the mean-ole nurse that designated blood drawer pokes me like 5  times before she actually found a vein that would draw blood.  Bad phlebotomist if you ask me!  Anyhow, I walk away wounded, annoyed and happy that I did get my beta drawn.

As I was finishing the last paragraph I got a call from a NICE nurse to tell me, congratulations - that I am definitely pregnant.  My beta is 75.   I'll take it for now.  Stay tuned for Wednesday.  Doubling successfully complete the beta hurdle.

.

2 lines

I had a hunch something was brewing.  I have started to have weird food aversions and just felt off.  Last night I went to bed at 7.30.  The same time as my 1 year old nephew, pathetic, right?  I bought HPT’s last night in case I wanted to test in the morning.  A wise friend of mine (Nico) told me to hold off and I really did think I was going to…    Woke up bright and early and had breakfast with my nephews, played with them for a while.  At this point I had probably peed at least twice already. 

I started getting my carry-on suitcase packed.  My flight back to NYC was in a few hours.  To minimize space in my tiny roll-on bag I unpackaged the goods I purchased in Chicago b/c they are about half the price there than in NYC (razors, bars of soap, protein bars, etc).  As I was taking the FRERs out of their box I realized I had to pee and the packaging basically opened itself and the stick followed me to the toilet.  I told myself I would not be upset if it was a BFN b/c it was the 3^rd pee of the day  on only 6dp5dt.  So I couldn’t be super upset that I tested. 

I had a hard time looking at it at first.  The control line popped up very fast.  I looked away for a few seconds.  As I was looking back I started saying to the test out loud, “come on, come on”.  It really looked like a ‘ghost line and before I ripped open the test as most of us have done at some point, the 2^nd line became much clearer.  I IMMEDIATELY ran and called DH….  He guessed it as soon as I called.  It was really cute. 

I am super apprehensive and will not get overjoyed until a doubling beta and a good strong heartbeat.  I am content that I am not allergic to pregnancy.  After the m/c and 2 failed FET’s following m/c  I was beginning to wonder.

Thank you all for your prayers and words of support. 

Spotting...

Spotting….

Today is 4dp5dt and I noticed a wee bit of spotting when I whipped. I know some people have what is called “implantation spotting”, but I’m just not convinced that is the case.  It is light brown / beginning of period looking.  And I have some period cramps but I figure that is probably because of the sena-kot I took this morning to help me poop.    I called my RE’s office and they said that it is “hormone changes”… Whatever the frick that means.  I am still planning on waiting until the 15^th for my beta.  I just loathe HPT’s.  They have hurt my feelings too darn much in the past.  Any thoughts on what you all think the spotting could be would be most appreciated.

Besides wondering what is going on down below, I am enjoying my time with my adorable nephews and my wonderful sister-in-law and brother.    I am lucky to say that  I LOVE my sister in law. She rocks and I consider her one of my best friends.  Being here with my family is definitely making this TWW somewhat manageable.

Emby 8 made it!

So happy to report that the embryo that they thought might not make it, in fact did make itJ  So I have a total of 8 day 5 embryo’s.  Can’t even begin to explain how much better it is going to a nationally regarded quality clinic versus a small clinic in Madison, WI.  Almost all of the ebryo’s retrieved survived except for two. And there is one doing it’s thing in my uterus…. Hopefully, making a snug  home for the next 10 months.